Gail's Soap Opera

I would post this one on facebook but I don't want to offend my daughter, however I do need to get it off my chest.  She is 33 weeks pregnant and nearly everything about this pregnancy has been urgent when she isn't comfortable.  We are at labor and delivery because they told her to come in if she was still having contractions and couldn't sleep.  While I am all for being careful and making sure there isn't something really wrong, it is a 40 min drive here and at 4am I am not in the best mood.

The nurse checking her in said rate your pain with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being your legs are being cut off with no anesthesia.  Her response.. "oh a 9 or 10".  The nurse said, "you realize I just said that `10 is your legs being cut off with no anesthesia"... and she said "yes, its very uncomfortable and I feel like I have to poop each time."

I am scared to see whats going to happen when she really starts to have contractions.   I am not saying anything about it because I haven't been talking to the doctor and it isn't my body... and I would rather be safe than sorry, but still... a 9 or a 10???

I am sorry I don't update things much, but I am sitting here and just had a phone call that tugged on my heart strings.

You may or may not know that I picked up a second job for some extra cash and to see how I like working from home. Its great, its very flexible and I am basically taking front line customer service calls from home. (if you want information about the company let me know, I can refer you). Currently my favorite client is www.homeagain.com and I am really loving it. I update phone numbers, sign people up, talk about their pet they just adopted, etc.

One of my jobs is to report when someone calls in and lists their pet as missing. This is always a sad call, but I can offer alot of hope and proactive service because of the what home again does.

I am sure like everyone here, you have seen the fires in California. Today I updated phone information and email address for a rancher with 2 missing dogs. Their electronic fence was burned in the fire and she and her husband fought the fire to save their home, but not alot of their ranch and the dogs ran from the property. They are now not able to go back to the ranch due to evacuation and their dogs are missing. The last time they saw them, one had a burned foot from stepping on an ember and of course she was very worried.

We updated her information to have cell phones, we updated her email to a national provider because her local isp is burned to the ground and made sure all her sister's contact info is there as well as that is where they were staying. I reassured her as much as I could and we got in touch with pet recovery and asked that they could expand the normal 25 mile radius of notification so that surrounding counties could be made aware to watch for the lost animals as there are multiple departments and agencies that are likely overwhelmed and using services farther than normal.

She feels pretty secure that likely a private citizen is helping out because the dogs are so nice and the system is so overwhelmed. They normally do not ever leave each other's side and she is hoping the injured one has found help.

I read about people dead, losing everything, and I am pretty desensitized to it. This woman was so grateful that her home was spared and her family was safe. I hope those two pups make it home to her. I am honored to have been able to talk to her, brainstorm and do my best to make it happen.

I haven't written a post in awhile about Eric, but this morning was so typical of one of my favorite oddities of him that I felt I must share.

Eric is exceedingly healthy. Other than a couple of stress related stomach issues and some slight high blood pressure that may go away now that he has stopped smoking, he has maybe a cold per year. This last year, as many of you know, has been a craptastic medical year for me, and to be honest the last 4 have been more crappy than not. Nearly every time something weird happens to me, or I have some freaky test, his eyes light up, with "THATS SO COOL". Like when I take our energy suppliment and had a niacin rush, or when I had systemic hives that would not go away. He seems to be fascinated with those oddities and even comments that cool stuff like that never happens to him.

So this morning. I am having an MRI on my head (with IV dye contrast because NOTHING I do medically doesn't involve needles anymore). For those of you unfamiliar with an MRI, its a machine with a little narrow tube that you get to lie still for 30+ min and VERY loud jackhammer knocks and buzzes happen around you. When they ask you, "Are you claustrophobic?" they aren't kidding. Some people require sedative to handle it. Luckily, I had had one before so today I knew exactly what to expect.

I came home and am telling him about this, and his eyes are just bright. it is a hoot. He is such an experiance junkie and he would totally love the whole experiance. For his sake, I hope he never has to.

And now, since he has been cleaning all morning while I have been gone, its time to go see if I can help out before going to see Nathan play soccer and then have some friends over.

As I am helping Celia choose clothing, she insists on having an undershirt, which is basically a plain white tshirt underneath anything she is wearing. I got her a clean one and she said "oh, I can just wear the one I am wearing". I told her "Sweetie, you slept with that under your jammies, and you wore it all day yesterday, you need a clean one."

She proceeded to tell me, because it was an undershirt, and it isn't on the outside, you don't get them dirty. At mommy's house, she wears them "three days". Now, I am not always inclined to believe everything the nearly 5 yr old says, however, she has been pretty stinky everytime I see her, always needing a bath. Her hair seems to only get fixed weekly at best (when we had her hair trimmed and I put a pretty elaborate braid in, it was still in and full of dirt two weeks later. It looked really gross. It was so bad, taking it out, washing and conditioning all weekend and it was still nasty.) Both children seem to never get nail trims except at our house.

I admit, when we don't get much time with them, I have sent them back as nasty as they came, but usually they go home vastly improved, and at the very least clean.

Greetings!

I'm writing to you to ask for your support in a very special cause.

This year, I'll be taking part in the Juvenile Diabetes Research
Foundation's Walk to Cure Diabetes along with a half-million other walkers
across the country. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HEARD IT.... GAIL IS EXERCISING. Our
goal: To raise $90 million to help fund research for a cure for type 1
diabetes and its complications.

Type 1, or juvenile, diabetes, is a devastating, often deadly disease that
affects millions of people--a large and growing percentage of them children.
My cousin Emily has had this since she was very little.

Many people think type 1 diabetes can be controlled by insulin. While
insulin does keep people with type 1 diabetes alive, it is NOT a cure. Aside
from the daily challenges of living with type 1 diabetes, there are many
severe, often fatal, complications caused by the disease.

That's the bad news... and yes, it's pretty bad.

The good news, though, is that a cure for type 1 diabetes is within reach.
In fact, JDRF funding and leadership is associated with most major
scientific breakthroughs in type 1 diabetes research to date. And JDRF funds
a major portion of all type 1 diabetes research worldwide, more than any
other charity. (I am also personally motivated because any research can
eventually help the type 2 which my father, many of my close friends and my
late Grandma Alice had.)

I'm writing to ask for your support because now more than ever, EACH of us
can be a part of bringing about a cure. Each of us can make a real
difference.

Won't you please give to JDRF as generously as you're able?

Together, we can make the cure a reality.

Thank you,

Gail Daniels

Please visit my Walk Web page if you would like to donate online or see how
close I am to reaching my personal goal:

http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=86637719

Follow this link to make a donation:

http://walk.jdrf.org/support.cfm?id=86637719
(c) 2007 Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. All rights reserved.

The kids just left. Its so hard. Earlier tonight I heard Nathan cuddled up to the dog telling him how much he misses him and how its so hard to wait until Friday, but he would be back very soon and he wishes he could stay here with him. Then on the way out the door Celia was asking if she could just stay here all night because she misses us so much. Eric had to pry her away and carry her to the van to drive them back.

I know it probabaly happens on her end too, but damn its hard... really hard.

If anything I am saying today is cold, blunt and ruthless, I apologize.

I seem to have taken a bitter pill.

Not taking back anything I said, but usually I have more tact.

I'm going to go down on you and make you very happy.

Then i'm going to come back up and fuck you.

Sincerely, Gas Prices

She died last night. Peacefully in her sleep. I am glad I came home because I will be going back and we had already made funeral plans and everything that needed done was done. Rest in peace grandma.

Sorry I haven't done an update lately.

Last night I slept in my bed and room that I had as an adolescent/teenager. The pink and grey decor is still here ("but mom, its dusty rose and silver, and its the first thing we both like"). I admit, looking at it makes me pretty wispful. All that is missing is my stuff. I kinda wish I were here for other reasons and I wish my husband was with me. Sleeping alone after years of together is rough.

Yesterday my grandmother had a massive stroke. She was in assisted living and will now never leave the nursing home. There is a waiting list for her apartment, and the family is emptying it today. I was supposed to be home working on my house. I was supposed to be going to a party tonight and having friends over. But sometimes life gets in the way. I should feel lucky that this happened when the main plans were already falling apart somewhat and minimal impact on others with my absense.

I visited her last night (if you can call it that). She looked like one of those post holocaust photos of dead people in a concentration camp grave. She was cold to the touch. She opened her eyes but was not there. Her words were jibberish, other than "I am cold" which she has been for years now. Perhaps it was the lack of glasses and false teeth. Perhaps it was my not wanting to see she had lost so much weight in the past few years, but the scene was shocking. Eric tells me she was quite skeletal the last few visits. I believe him, but all I saw was the woman crying because she was so happy to see me. The grandmother that took care of me. She is the last grandparent I have, and the last of that generation of people close to me.

She is 95. She has been in quite a bit of pain lately and very lonely. Most of her friends have died. Most of her kids and grandkids have moved on with life and she is a visitor rather than a player anymore. My sister and I both hope she goes quickly. Her mind seems gone and her body isn't far behind. I want her to go be with my grandfather whom she misses dearly. They were everything to each other and have been apart for 6 years now.

I am only soothed by the fact that today I know I am needed and my action orientedness will help move things along. My father is handling this well and I am waiting to see how my aunt and uncle are. It can't be easy to see a parent go.

I feel badly because I know this is dredging up memories of the recent death of Eric's parents and his grandmother in the nursing home. I wish I could have him with me, but fully understand why he is absent. Even though he is not here, he is still a great comfort to me and knowing he is waiting for me at home warms my heart.

I am off to get dressed and ready to work. It helps to write. I guess thats what I kept this journal alive for.